Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Top Ten Movie Quotes (Commonplace Book)

At the suggestion of Mitch, here are my top ten favorite movie quotes in no particular order. I limited myself to only one per movie, since I fear more than a few of my favorite lines might be from the same film. Most of these quotations were found by going to IMDB.com, looking up my favorite films and clicking "quotes" -- I have a feeling this list is skewed in a weird way because of that and that I have forgotten my actual favorite movie quotes. But here goes.

1. "Domo." -- Kill Bill. [I love this one because The Bride meets Hatori Hanzo and says "domo" which leads to a whole conversation about Japanese -- it is one of the few words she knows; it turns out she knows a lot more, and knows who this Sushi chief really is. In the end she convinces him to make her a sword, and the sequence closes as it opens, with the word "Domo" -- except it has gone from being a mere word out of a tourist phrasebook to signifying the deepest kind of human connection. I cannot believe Fraction says Kill Bill vol 1 has no heart. I have an anxiety-of-influence-o-meter and he is way in the red.]

2. "They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? 'I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?'" -- Grosse Point Blank

3. "It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?" -- State and Main

4. "Time's up! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!"" -- A Few Good Men [People who say Tom Cruse cannot act are just wrong.]

5. "What was in there man? Like, psychos?" -- "Psychos?! PSYCHOS?! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!" -- -- From Dusk Till Dawn. [I like the idea that there could be a degree of crazy at which you burst into flames when sunlight hits you.]

6. "I'm sorry. Russ, look, I know this is your joint. I just... there's this girl. I love her, man. I love her, but she is driving me crazy! I can't sleep. I can't work. I quit the show. I totally phoned in that Dennis Quaid movie. I mean, it's like... God, it's almost like this Kabbalah crap doesn't even work!" -- Ocean's 12

7. "Everything else is just polishing the brass on the Titanic" -- Fight Club.

8. "Your're a dick." -- X-Men [I love that they fear he is a shapeshifter and this is how he proves he is really him. It solves a dilemma lightning fast with a joke. Whedon said this is the only line from his draft that remained intact. You can tell.]

9. "My name is William Blake. Perhaps you know my poetry. [he shoots them both with a revolver]." -- Dead Man [This is my favorite thing said before shooting someone].

10. "When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?" -- "Well, that's funny. Because I thought that you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really *bad* ideas." -- "Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude. " -- Emperor's New Grove

Do your own top ten list in the comments.

17 comments:

  1. 1) "One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life." -- Bottle Rocket

    2) "Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc?" -- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

    3) "Let's go." -- The Wild Bunch

    4) "Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy!" -- Star Wars

    5) "Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left. " -- JFK

    6) "What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again. " -- Boogie Nights

    7) "I'll festoon my bedchamber with his guts." -- Gangs of New York

    8) "Yeah!" -- Flash Gordon [okay, I'll explain this context: it's the freeze frame of Flash jumping into the air. I've said it before--every movie should end this way.]

    9) "AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes." -- Jackie Brown

    10) "No, Donny, these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of." -- The Big Lebowski

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  2. in no particular order:

    "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." - Say Anything

    "...and if your hands were metal, that would mean something@ - MST3K The Movie

    "llama face!!!" - The Emperor's New Groove

    "Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that. " - Better Off Dead

    "You're my density" - Back to the Future

    "I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross." - The Breakfast Club

    "You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?" - Labyrinth

    "You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay!" - Muppets From Space

    "Ah, a bear in his natural habitat. A studebaker!" - The Muppet Movie

    "I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one." - A Shot in The Dark

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  3. God, there are so many!

    I'll just leave it at my top 2.

    "And then he called her a very bad name and shouted, "I wish she were dead!"" - Throw Momma From the Train (It's all in the context, I swear.)

    And, my all-time favorite is a cheat - dialogue.

    "Did Lard-Ass have to pay to get in the contest?"
    "No, Vern, they just let him in."
    "Oh, great story, sincerely."
    - Stand By Me.

    If I'm ever on the ledge, that's the only thing that can get me in.

    And Geoff, I've fought the Tom Cruise-is-a-great-actor fight for over 15 years; I even have the letter to Premiere Magazine (may it rest in peace, damnit) to prove it. Good to see another ally.

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  4. In no paricular order

    1.
    Walter Peck: "Hold it! These men are in criminal violation of the environmental protection act, and this explosion is a direct result of that!"

    Egon: "Your mother!"

    ****
    2.
    Winston: "Tell him about the twinkie."

    ****
    3.
    Egon: "There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive"

    ****
    4.
    Peter: "Nobody steps on a church in my town!"

    ****
    5.
    Man: "What're you supposed to be, some kinda cosmonaut?"
    Peter: "We're exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on twelve."
    Man: "Must be one hell of a cockroach."
    Peter: "Bite your head off, man."

    ****
    6.
    Rumble: "Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasamatic!"

    ****
    7.
    Megatron: "Wait...I still function."
    Starscream: "Wanna bet?"

    ****
    8.
    Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard: "Let us out! Let us out!"
    Wadsworth & Ms. White: "Let us in! Let us in!"

    ***
    9.

    Indiana Jones/Silent Bob: "No ticket."

    ***
    10.
    Wash: "I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I so-"

    It's not that surprising to me that the first two quoteable movies that come to mind are Ghostbusters and Transformers. It's telling, I suppose. Of anything good, I doubt, but telling nonetheless...

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  5. 10. Liar Liar- The color of the pen that I hold in my hand is rrrrrrrrrroyal blue!

    9.Twelve monkeys- There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion.

    8. The American President-I've loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other 'cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job. Well, that ends right now. Tomorrow morning, the White House is sending a bill to Congress for its consideration. It's White House Resolution 455, an energy bill requiring a 20 percent reduction of the emission of fossil fuels over the next ten years. It is by far the most aggressive stride ever taken in the fight to reverse the effects of global warming. The other piece of legislation is the crime bill. As of today, it no longer exists. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out writing a law that makes sense. You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security, and I will go door to door if I have to, but I'm gonna convince Americans that I'm right, and I'm gonna get the guns. We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President.

    7.Men In black-A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Everything they've ever "known" has been proven to be wrong. A thousand years ago everybody knew as a fact, that the earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on it. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

    6. The Goonies-Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.

    5. Superbad- Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.

    4. The girl next door- Is the Juice worth the squeeze.

    3. Fight Club- This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

    2. Reservoir dogs-Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite

    2. The Usual Suspects-The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone

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  6. 1. "This is an adventure" - The Life Aquatic

    2. "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It'd be a pity to damage yours." - The Princess Bride

    3. "It's true, your honor: this man has no dick." - Ghostbusters

    4. "There was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature." - A Mighty Wind

    5. "There was no sense in blowing everything away for the sake of some violent ape I'd never even met." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

    6. "Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you... but I'm not going to." - Groundhog Day

    7. "Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating." - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

    8. "Now that's how you get pink eye." - Knocked Up

    9. "We have just lost cabin pressure." - Fight Club

    10. "It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like." - High Fidelity

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  7. Re: X-Men - Whedon also takes credit for the "Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning?" line that everybody hates, but I never minded.

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  8. I wanted to say "squee!" to Sara because she quoted that line from Better Off Dead. I just watched that last night! Yay for Savage Steve Holland.

    Here's my list - numbered - but not in any particular order.

    10) No. Not really. You're scum, Wayne; you did it for RATINGS. You don't give a shit about us or anybody else except yourself; that's why nobody gives a shit about YOU. That's why "helicopters" were not "deployed." --Natural Born Killers

    9) I can't tell you... that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you... you didn't have a dick.


    8) See, you can't rewrite, 'cause to rewrite is to deceive and lie, and you betray your own thoughts. To rethink the flow and the rhythm, the tumbling out of the words, is a betrayal, and it's a sin, Martin, it's a sin. --Naked Lunch

    7) The battle for the mind of North America will be fought in the video arena: the Videodrome. The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye. Therefore, the television screen is part of the physical structure of the brain. Therefore, whatever appears on the television screen emerges as raw experience for those who watch it. Therefore, television is reality, and reality is less than television. --Videodrome

    6) As we walked along the flatblock marina, I was calm on the outside, but thinking all the time - Now it was to be Georgie the general, saying what we should do and what not to do, and Dim as his mindless greeding bulldog. But suddenly, I viddied that thinking was for the gloopy ones, and that the oomny ones use like, inspiration and what Bog sends. Now it was lovely music that came into my aid. There was a window open with the stereo on, and I viddied right at once what to do. --A Clockwork Orange

    5)That IS your treason! You're an honest man, Proculus, which means a bad Roman! Therefore, you are a traitor! Logical, hmm? --Caligula

    4) Han: We are all ready to win, just as we are born knowing only life. It is defeat that you must learn to prepare for.
    Williams: Don't waste my time with it. When it comes, I won't even notice.
    Han: Oh? How so?
    Williams: I'll be too busy looking gooood. --Enter the Dragon

    3)Who am I? I am... I am the Invincible Sword Goddess, armed with the incredible Green Destiny. Be you Li or Southern Crane, lower your head and ask for mercy. I am the desert dragon. I leave no trace. Today I fly over Eu-Mei. Tomorrow... I'll kick over Wudan Mountain! --Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

    2)Look Bart, barring a preference we're going to put you on a wrestling picture, Wallace Beery. I say this because they tell me you know the poetry of the streets, so that would rule out westerns, pirate pictures, screwball, bible, roman... look, I'm not one of those guys who thinks poetic has got to be fruity. We're together on that aren't we? I mean I'm from New York myself, well, Minsk if you want to go all the way back. Which we won't, if you don't mind and I ain't asking. Now people are going to say to you, Wallace Beery, wrestling, it's a B picture. You tell them: BULLSHIT! We do NOT make B pictures here at Capitol. Let's put a stop to that rumour RIGHT now! --Barton Fink

    1) Be afraid. Be very afraid. --The Fly

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  9. Number 9 was from True Romance. I;m not sure what happened to the title there.

    //jamie

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  10. A better line from Grosse Point Blank is when, upon discovering the house he grew up in is now a Quickie Mart, Cusak says:

    "You Can't Go Home Again but you can shop there"

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  11. "TEN YEARS MAN! TEN YEARS! TEN! TEN YEARS!"

    "I freaked out, joined the army, went in to business for myself, I'm a professional killer"

    "oh, you get dental with that?"

    or summat like that...

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  12. In no particular order:

    1. J. J. Hunsecker: Sidney, I'd hate to take a bite out of you. You're a cookie full of arsenic.--Sweet Smell of Success

    2. Sidney Falco: Watch me run the 50-yard dash with my legs cut off.--Sweet Smell of Success

    3. The cost: no man can say!--Citizen Kane

    4. Put the coffee down! Coffee is for closers only.--Glengarry Glen Ross

    5. H. I. McDunnough: There's what's right and there's what's right, and never the twain shall meet. --Raising Arizona

    6. Lipnick: I run this dump, and I don't know the technical mumbo-jumbo. Why do I run it? Cause I got horse sense goddamit, SHOWMANSHIP! And also I hope Lou told you this, I am bigger and meaner and louder than any other kike in this town. Did you tell him that Lou? And I don't mean my dick is bigger than yours, it's not a sexual thing. You're a writer, you know more about that.--Barton Fink

    7. Tom Regan: There's nothing more foolish than a man chasing after his own hat.--Miller's Crossing

    8. Nigel: It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none--none more black.--This Is Spinal Tap

    9. Ian Faith: Fuck the napkin!--This Is Spinal Tap

    10. Nigel: It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.

    I could just cut and paste the screenplays for Sweet Smell of Success, Spinal Tap, and every Coen Brothers movie, and that would basically constitute my top ten favorite quotes right there.

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  13. Subject to changing along with my whims.

    In no particular order:

    [After serious criminal hijinx, the main character, a relatively passive and submissive guy has blown the brains out of his ex-girlfriend in their former apartment. He is now discussing her with his brother, the hardened criminal.]
    Arvid: "She was coming to take the TV."
    Harald: "OK... All right... Where is she?"
    A: "At home. In the living room.

    ...

    And in the kitchen."
    H: "In the living room AND in the kitchen?"
    A: "Yes."

    Fight Club is just a quotefest along with American Psycho.

    "There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."

    "Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows."

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  14. Ok, this isn't quite a top 10 of movie quotes but a list of 10 favorite movie quotes... not in any real order.

    10. "It's Over, Anakin. I have the High Ground"-Star Wars: Episode III (I just love how 'having the high ground' allows you to easily dismember the most powerful Jedi in the universe)

    9. "Don't ask me about my business, Kay. Never ask me about my business."- The Godfather (best. final line. ever.)

    8. "Help, Help I'm bein' repressed"- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (satire and silliness all in one line!)

    7. "Your Mother Sucks Cocks in Hell"- The Exorcist (best. put-down. ever.)

    6. "How you got to teach a class in anything is beyond me"- Annie Hall (spoken by Marshall McCluhan to a media professor... every teacher's worst nightmare)

    5. "We're gonna need a bigger boat"- Jaws

    4. "but these go to 11"- This is... Spinal Tap (its the 'but' that makes this line great... he's saying this after Marti Debergi has just explained to him why 'going to 11' doesn't mean anything)

    3. "You've Got me? Who's got you?"- Superman The Movie (So much of the movie is about believing in flying... and the romance was a big selling point of the movie... in many ways... this moment sums up so much of the movie)

    2. "I can't carry it for you but I can't carry you!"- Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Shaun Astin should have gotten best supporting actor Oscar just for making what, on paper, is a fairly hokey line the most moving moment in the series. It's the quintessential Sam line; it totally sums up the character as well as the larger theme of carrying burdens)

    1. "The Force Will be With you, Always"- Star Wars (in so many ways this line sums up the magic and everything appealling that makes the Star Wars movies so timeless and endruing... especially when you include the 'always')

    (A shout out to Nicholas Reed for the 'this man has no dick'... that may, in fact, be the best put down ever)

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  15. 1) “I AM the Pumpkin King!” -The Nightmare Before Christmas.

    2) “May the Force be with you…always” -Star Wars: A New Hope.

    3) “Okay?”-Lost in Translation.

    4) “No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.” –Good Will Hunting.

    5) “I can’t fire them. I hired these guys three days a week, and they just started showing up, every day, that was four years ago.”-High Fidelity.

    6) “Are you classified as human?” “Negative, I am a meat Popsicle.”-The Fifth Element.

    7) “Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” –The Third Man.

    8) “Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf...”-Fargo.

    9) “Was it the Boogeyman?”-Halloween.

    10) “Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave.” –Serenity.

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  16. Only a few sprung to mind for me:

    FROM JACKIE BROWN:

    Ordell Robbie: I didn't know you liked the Delfonics.
    Max Cherry: They're pretty good.

    FROM ROYAL TENENBAUMS:

    Royal: I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.

    FROM A CLOCKWORK ORANGE:

    Alex: Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures!

    FROM SERENITY:

    Zoƫ: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?
    Jayne Cobb [Desperate]: Well, I might.

    FROM RUSHMORE:

    [The Dennis the Mennace Kid]: With friends like you Max, who needs friends?

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  17. Damn, I have no idea. I'll try to think of a few, but they'll probably all be from Coen brothers or Wes Anderson movies.

    "Total fuckin' silence." - Fargo

    "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling." - The Big Lebowski

    "How has the resistance managed to last for 10 years?" "Beginner's luck." - Brazil

    "No, you don't understand the idea of the nest egg! In fact, you're not allowed to use the words 'nest egg' any more! You'll say 'that bird lives in a round stick' and 'we're having...things over easy on toast'!" - Lost in America

    "What did she say?" "You're like, um, garbage...like crumpled-up paper. It sounds better in Spanish." - Bottle Rocket

    "You gotta have brass balls!"
    "ABC. Always. Be. Closing."
    "What's your name?" "Fuck you, that's my name!" - Glengarry Glen Ross

    "Maybe I'm the vengeance of the lord, and Mr. 9mm here, that's the shepherd. I'd like that. But the truth is, you're the weak, and I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd." - Pulp Fiction

    I think that's good for now. I should note that I didn't look any of these up; I just went by memory, so they're probably not quite right. But hopefully the gist is there. I might come back and put some more in if I think of them or feel like looking them up.

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