The only thing I saw coming out this week was Metzler's JLA #4. In the news (at Newsarama) Ultimates 13 is finished and will be out shortly and Joss Whedon was on Fanboy Radio (at Newsarama you can read the recap). With the empty space, I thought I would try a riff on last week's top ten list; I had fun reading what everyone came up with -- try your hand at one of these:
Least Favorite Comic Books of All Time (right at this moment, in no particular order)
1. Planetary 26 (I already posted about this)
2. Igor Kordey’s New X-Men issues (I will post on this soon)
3. 52 1 - 14 (I already posted about this)
4. Skrull Kill Krew (Grant Morrison and Mark Millar? Really?)
5. Tomorrow Stories (Alan Moore wallowing in nostalgia)
6. Spawn-Wildcats Crossover (Alan Moore selling out horribly)
7. Ruins (Warren Ellis being pointlessly bleak and no fun)
8. Orbiter (Warren Ellis being unpersuasive, lame, and cheesy)
9. The last Sin City arc (with the Navy Seal artist who refuses to compromise his art by drawing breasts)
10. X3 (not a comic book, but I don’t care, that movie sucked and I already wrote a review of it)
And as usual: recommend, review, and discuss comics out and comics news this week.
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23 comments:
Reacting to your list... I didn't like Planetary 26 or X3 either, though I don't know if either would make my "least favorite comics of all time" list. And I really didn't like Orbiter -- that was the comic that put me off of non-Planetary Ellis.
But I actually did like Tomorrow Stories. Oh, it's uneven; and it's clearly the weakest of the ABC line, despite Moore's obvious affection for it. But I thought some of the stories were laugh-outloud-funny (mostly First American and Splash Brannigan); and I thought that some of the formal experimentation (mostly with Greyshirt) was well done -- in particular, the one built around an apartment building in issue #2 was a tour-de-force, and justified the entire book for me.
(No list of my own for now... maybe later. Gotta get back to work!)
1) Doctor Cyborg - puke! I bought it for Oeming's art, which couldn't help the story. Worth flipping through in the store for the writer's bio page complete with photo of himself riding a bike.
2) Paul Dini's recent run on Batman - especially the last issue, the Joker issue.
3) Shattered Image - Image Comic's Crisis-like event where they tried to write out all of Marc Silvestri's characters.
4) Spawn - all of it. (loved it as a kid, though)
5) Authority Annual of some kind where they fight the Sun who's actually Winter from Stormwatch - I hate this for so many reasons
6) 52 #13
7) The Authority: Transfer of Power
8) All 9/11 commemorative comics of all kind
9) All Superman comics drawn to make him look like Brandon Routh
10) Ultimate Spiderman
A few off the top of my head
1) Most anything by Chuck Austen, with the exception of War Machine and portions of his Exiles run
2) Mark Millar's Marvel Knights Spider-Man (why must he write every character like an utter bastage?)
3)Civil War #4
4) The bulk of Tom Peyer's runs on L.E.G.I.O.N., LSH, and Legionnaires
5) Any issue of Authority with Kev
Strangely, this list is making think of the best comics I didn't mention last time...
1*. Cerebus #?: I read them in trade form so I don't know for sure, but the post rape of Astoria scene in Church and State 2 is sort of the first twinge of what was to come.
2. Y the Last Man: It's like movies like Crash, two sides (if that) is still less than 3 dimensional characters. Bah faux-smart. Brian Wood* like.
3. Sin City Big Fat Kill and on: parodies of good work.
4. Crouching Tiger Planetary: this one was just boring. The most cursory attempt to comment/include a genre in the series.
5. One Trick Rip Off:
6. Astonishing X-Men 2nd arc: Sexy Holodecks, bad retconning of moral lapses. Feh.
7*. We3 #3: I think the ending flubs it entirely, and I don't understand how Morrison wrote that.
8. the last Silver Surfer restart: If it says Silver Surfer I expect a man covered in foil surfing the spaceways. Noble failure though.
Can I mention comics I don't own, and barely read, but I think are indicative of poor editorial handling/bad writing? Crappy, and not even fan pander.
9. Sins Past in Amazing Spider-Man: I don't need a virginal Gwen Stacy or anything (before my time), it's just a dumb story. And not dumb fun. Cap Wolf is dumb fun.
10. Clor
The ones with asterixs are good comics I don't like. The rest I just think are bad.
And going by the trailer they've ruined Spider-Man in the third movie too. Fah!
1 John Byrne's 2112
2 Any Sin City story with "Blue Eyes" in it.
3 Deathblow: Byblows (definite contender for the worst comic Alan Moore ever wrote.)
4 X-Cutioner's Song(x-crossover circa 1992)
5 X-Men/Wildcats: The Dark Age
6 Tom Strong 27-34 (I actually liked the first four non-Alan-Moore Tom Strong issues ... but the next eight were atrocious.)
7 Sovereign Seven 19-36 (not that the first 18 constituted a masterpiece, but at least they were fun... the second batch of 18 made me want to find a way to gnaw my own eyes out)
8 The Quitter, by Harvey Pekar. (People seem to agree that this is Pekar at his worst. I think you could make a good case that it is comics itself at its worst.)
9 1602 What do you get when you transplant the Marvel Silver Age to Elizabethan England? A novelty story with too many characters and a cluttered, boring plot, apparently. And even though it's supposed to be the Silver Age versions of characters, Jean Grey still turns into Phoenix. Again. Because god forbid somebody think of anthing else to do with her.
10 Bruce Jones' run on Incredible Hulk. Some people say this started strong and then fizzled out. Those people require our pity and compassion. For in fact, it was bad from the start.
Least favorite comics, eh? Actually, most of these turned out to be runs (and a lot of them X-Men runs):
1. Infinite Crisis #7--Ugh. Rushed and filled in. Uncolored sections. It makes it even worse that they tried to "fix" it in the trade and changed plot elements. Boy, the fact that I listed this first proves that I'm still upset about it! Time to move on, Mitchell.
2. Onslaught Reborn #1--I was hoping for a different kind of bad. You know, the kind you can enjoy.
3. Chris Claremont's X-Men: The End MaxiSeries--Which I bought for some reason and which conclusively proved that Claremont has really lost touch with whatever brilliance he once possessed when it comes to the X-Men
4. Superman Birthright-- I've heard waaaaay to many people give this Waid/Yu story more credit than it deserves.
5. The Losers--Read three issues of the most recent trade, stopped and never looked back.
6. New Wildcats--I could barely stay interested during the first issue, let alone the months between now and the second issue.
7. Brad Meltzer's Green Arrow: Archer's Quest--Peeyew. Just sloppy and gross all over. Sentimental, with seeds of Meltzer's future success, but mostly icky.
8. That Excaliber series that came right after New X-Men--Wretched.
9. Brubaker's Uncanny X-Men--Yawn. Bland art. Bland space story. I love the rag-tag cast, but I dropped this at the first fill-in artist.
10. X-Men: First Class #1--All it took for me to realize that this was worthless was the X-Box pun. That's right. An X-Box pun.
Not so much a list as one shining moment of horror that should never be forgotten, on par with the Holocaust.
Chuck Austen's UNCANNY X-MEN.
Of all the outright heinous ideas -- mutant werewolves? Romeo & Juliet redux? Sammy The Fishboy? Nurse Annie? Archangel and Husk fucking in midair IN FRONT OF HER MOM??? -- one in particular stands out ferociously as if to say, look how ridonkulous I am! Geoff Klock, I present you with "Draco." It'd be one thing if it was a nonsense arc about nothing important (like the rest of Austen's ill-fated run), but "Draco" was unfortunately a nonsense arc about Nightcrawler's origin, which magnifies its shittiness tenfold since the character, you know, actually has fans who'd be upset. Couple that with Marvel's shameless grab for the manga community's attention in the form of those drag queen costume designs and "Japan-inspired" art, and I think Mr. Austen has made a case for the worst comics ever created. Ever.
Other mentionable atrocities:
- EXCALIBUR vol. whatever, the 2004 Claremont one. The one where Magneto showed up on the last page of the first issue, released roughly one month after he'd been killed in NEW X-MEN #150.
- NEW AVENGERS #20. As if Xorn(s) weren't muddled enough. Thanks for nothing, Bendis.
- CIVIL WAR #4. A cloned Thor is an insult to the intelligences of every person who read that issue.
- HOUSE OF M #1-6. This series could have been a one-shot, and everybody knows it.
- INFINITE CRISIS. Fans have listed all the things wrong with the series since the first issue. Pick one and insert it here.
- MUTANT X. Howard Mackie's retarded-brainchild-slash-Havok-vehicle was often boring to the point of tears, and seldom (too seldom?) ridiculous enough to rival BATMAN & ROBIN. Yes, the film.
A great excerpt of an essay by Alan Moore titled "25,000 Years of Pornography" on CBR: http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=9157
I've got to throw up (pun intended) 3 examples:
1. Spider-Man "Sins Past" - oh, yeah. Better yet was JMS' comment "I wasn't trying to make her a slut." No, man - it just wrote itself.
2. Batman "Dark Detective" - how these talented creators could piss all over one of the greatest runs ever is beyond me.
3. Miller/Lee's "ASBARTBW" - Everyone complains about the fact that we got only one issue this year - that's the best part for me!
Bottom Ten -12/13/06
1) Spider-Man "Maximum Cloneage"
2) All Star Batman and Robin past #1
3) All of Alan Moore's Image work
4) Gaiman's Eternals (as much as it pains me to write that ^_^)
5) The Boys (Billy Butcher's bumbuggering the CIA lady; you're such an iconoclast Garth!)
6) "Needle and Thread" by Bilal (if only I could figure out what the hell it meant)
7) The Ultimates "Giant-Man vs Wasp" (Domestic abuse as superhero action, genius I tells ya!)
8) B.K. Vaughan's Swamp Thing.
9) The Death of Superman
10) Batman: Knightfall
What do you think of the dream sequence in the navy seal/artist sin city arc? I think it partially redeems it.
I think Warren Ellis' "Ministry of Space" is worse than orbiter and more indicative of his cheesy, kilgore trout- inability to fill out a good idea.
My worst is the second half of James Robinson Starman (pretty much everything after Tony Harris left) because that series had a lot of potential and was ruined by a writer who lost complete interest in his series.
Can't remember my Blogger log in. Call me Word Wrangler.
I personally loved Tomorrow Stories (agreeing that some of the material was uneven, but some was wildly original -- and waited patiently for how long?? for the last issue of Orbiter, and found it a good, if not profound read.
Can't comment too much on the others, except that Frank Miller has done the same things way too many times to interest me any more.
Candidates for my own list off the top of my head would include anything drawn by Rob Liefield.
The entire Marvel New Universe (before mosta' you's times).
All of Lobo. (Tho' I read a fair amount of it.)
Anything written for marketing purposes with infinite crossovers from the mini-series to all regular books which you knew would onlyl interrupt the continuity of the regular comics for that month (Secret Wars II springs to mind with too many others to mention).
Bone was the most overrated comic I can remember. Go back and dig up some of Walt Kelley's "Pogo" to see how watered down and derivative Bone is.
The entire Chaos comics line -- Warren Magazines on Steroids and glossy paper taken way over the top with not a shred of originality in the art or stories.
Turning Hal Jordan into a psycho. Never woulda' happened. As bad as the dumb-as-dirt daughter and other plot holes you could drive an armored division through in the first season of "24."
Comics based on video or role-playing games (and video or role playing games based on comics).
Comics that get two heroes to fight each other on the flimiest and most unlikely grounds.
Hmmm. Maybe I'll be back with another post on this....
WW
BTW- I finished Meltzer's latest Justice League and I think it is his strongest issue so far. What did you guys think?
WW- I quite liked Bone. I pair it up with Scott Morse's Soulwind or the like, a child/adult friendly fantasy. I'm just not sure Pogo is the sort of comic I'd be looking for while reading Bone.
Stephen: fair point about that Greyshirt issue: I liked that too.
Brad: 52 #13 was, as you know, the issue that broke me.
Cap'n: Oh! I forgot about Millar's Spiderman. That WAS bad.
Alex: I can't understand you on WE3 but otherwise I am in complete agreement.
Jason: Wasn't X-Men Wildcats drawn by Charest? I love Charest to death , which would save that issue, though I do remember the writing was bad.
Mitch: X-Box pun? I don't get it.
Bryan: House of M should have been a one shot. 8 issues? Terrible.
Mitch: I will read that shortly.
Marc: as you know (or I think you know, I posted about it a while back) I got turned around an All Star Batman: I hated it and now I love it. The thing that made me stay with it was thinking "if this is pissing so many Batman fans off, it must be doing something right"
Patrick: Oh, I liked the domestic abuse story. I thought it was a good twist on the usual "superhero's fight each other" story.
Scot: I actually have not read that Sin City story in years so I don't remember (also I don't have it in the house). I did hate MoS though; the thing that made it so bad was how awesome everyone thought it was.
WW: CHAOS COMICS. forgot all about them. That was some bad juju. Velvet covers is all I remember.
Mitch: yeah JLA was great fun, with a fun twist. Best issue yet, I agree. Some of the art was off, though, I thought (an image of Superman in profile on page 3 looked very strange).
Alexandre and WW: I never could get into Bone. I didn't get what all the fuss was about.
Too much negativity! I quite liked some of Millar's Spider-Man.
I love Bone. After making my top ten list I kicked myself a little for not including it.
There will be grave consequences for anyone who badmouths Bone...they will be forced to wrestle....MY COUSIN MOSE!!!!
James: you will have to elaborate, I'm afraid.
Patrick: I was not badmouthing. I just don't get it, is all.
Also I got this e mail on myspace:
From: Douglas
Date: Dec 13 2006 11:06 AM
The creators involved with these eyesores have all produced other work I have enjoyed, but off the top of my head:
1)Defenders by DeMatteis.Leaden riffs on Gerber.
2)Identity Crisis. Sensationalist.
3)New Mutants (post- Sienkiewicz) a long, lingering demise.
4)All Star Batman; ludicrous and late.
5)Civil War. Inconsistent and illogical.
6)Avengers Disassembled. Needless carnage.
7)Seven Soldiers - Mr Miracle. Brutal and vile.
8)Infinite Crisis. Meritless continuity geekfest.
9)John Byrne's OMAC. Unremittingly bleak.
10) Ruins. Spot on. Horrible.
Not counting of course, Ultraforce; The Strangers; Ravage or Hulk or FF 2099; Youngblood, Brigade and The Pact version 1; virtually any Marvel annual from '88 to '99 .Finally, Liefeld's Captain America and Avengers deserve a special award. Criminal.
Geoff: Oh, I didn't really like Millar's Spider-Man enough to defend it, I just mean I don't think I could come up with one of these lists if I wanted to. There's not enough space in my head for the stuff I like, let alone all the bad things I've read. But complaining won't solve anything! So I'll be back to espouse on the positivity of this week's reads just as soon as I get them read. (If they're any good.)
I believe the X-Box joke goes something like this:
(Beast and Iceman enter after a battle, their costumes tattered)
Iceman- My costume's tattered! This sucks!
Beast- Don't worry, Bobby. We can use the X-Box!
Iceman- We have an X-Box here? Cool!
(They reach a large box that has an X on it)
Beast- See, you put your tattered costume in here and tomorrow you have a new one.
Iceman- Oh.
[See what I mean? Ugh]
My comment was meant to be playful not accusitory. (I realize suddenly that I've had to say something to that effect many, many times) If something doesn't appeal to you, it doesn't appeal to you. There's no point in arguing.
"This won't appeal to me" was my first reaction after regarding Cassanova and Whedon's X-Men, but because of your passion for these comics, I went after them.
Mitch: wow. ugh is right.
James: I know people like yourself that like to keep it positive (I am looking at you, Liam), and I understand the impulse. But complaining has its positive aspects as well -- for one thing it can be fun. Look a Louis Black.
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