Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Speech from Warren Ellis's Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. (Commonplace Book)

This is a great send up of hyper-masculine psycho "heroes": H.A.T.E. stands for Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort:
Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whiskey and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest burried. In New Jersey! For H.A.T.E.

9 comments:

Geoff Klock said...

I have become very fond of variations on this phrase (which I got from West Wing), but It's the "In New Jersey" that makes it art.

samax said...

nextwave is the funniest comic on the planet!

pat moler said...

that was pretty funny.

mitch said...

I need to read this again. I just love that Ellis wanted to have Nick Fury acting like this and Marvel wouldn't let him. In the end I think it does work better with a stand-in.

mitch said...

I need to read this again. I just love that Ellis wanted to have Nick Fury acting like this and Marvel wouldn't let him. In the end I think it does work better with a stand-in.

Björninn said...

That is the exact thing that got me sold on Nextwave. Here are the actual panels, for those who haven't seen the comic.

Marc Caputo said...

I'll probably get around to this in trade (I just eBayed Casanova 1-5, so I'll get them right in time for 6 next week. Happy Thanksgiving to me!) but this sounds like bad Denis Leary from the "No Cure for Cancer" album circa 1993.

mitch said...

Oops. Double post. Sorry.

Another NextWave gem:

"If you like anything, you will LOVE NextWave!"

Geoff Klock said...

Mitch: yeah it it was that line that got me to pick the book up in the first place.