Thursday, February 12, 2009

Haters Can't Be Stopped

by Sara

I was just called a hater yesterday, and I agreed wholeheartedly. I wasn't called that out of anger either. It was out of affection and I believe perhaps a bit out of admiration, for I hate pretty much everything with a glee I hope is rather endearing.

It came up because we watched Before Sunset (Richard Linklater's 2004 sequel to Before Sunrise 9 years after the original screened) in class and I just hate Ethan Hawke. Just so, so much. And I feel he's only gotten douchier with age. Also, he has way too many teeth. The movie is rather twee, and exceedingly white. Two fairly problem-free white people whining to one another about how they're too old to be romantics anymore. la la la. Anyhoodle, I said as much in class when asked by the prof what our response to the movie was (the first words out of my mouth were Ethan Hawke is a giant Douche). I sort of sank into a wonderful reverie of hate on Le Hawke and his pretentious awfulness and how annoying a movie about other people complaining that they didn't have enough sex with one another really was, and when I came out of it one of my friends said "wow, you're really a hater." See, compliment!

Today I would like to talk about my hate of 24. I hate 24 because it's boring. Jack will eventually save us all, earning the grudging admiration of the Government, then next season they'll want to jail his ass for all the rules he broke saving them the season before. Sprinkle in some torture, a female Jack Bauer (known in my house as Jackquella), a computer geek or two, and a bad guy who can slip through any police blockade BY TAKING A BUS until such time as we have to wrap this whole thing up, et voila, 24. Yawn. Snooze. This season they're adding "human interest" story lines or whatever to make it more personal. Giving your big bad terrorist a girlfriend who doesn't yet know he's a terrorist? Not exactly a stroke of brilliance nor a story line that will have on the edge of my seat. So far I've fallen asleep to every 24 I've watched.

Seriously though? The President of the United States cannot get through the block that the terrorist calls her on (I call him the terrorist because I cannot remember his name on the show. It's the guy from Sengala -- which Geoff thought was a real African country btw.) HOWEVER, the WHEEL-CHAIR bound (way to play on our sympathies 24 peeps) sister of this guy's waitress girlfriend from his double life, SHE can fucking find the number no problem. Anyway, I have to go work out now, this hater rush is too much.

[FOR A MOMENT, I may have become confused by the sheer dumb-ness of 24 and thought FOR A MOMENT Sengala was a real place, but at least I remember the bad guys name is DUBAKU.]


Christian said...

24 is boring.

There. I said it. I couldn't even get through the first season. And apparently, neither could the rest of my country, as the following seasons weren't aired here at all.

Maybe it's just too American for me. I can practically smell the fecal matter of Bald Eagles as the credits roll.

Geoff Klock said...

The only reason I like the season I like (1 and 5) are because I feel like I am forced to admire, in Hidegger's words, something that HAS ONE THOUGHT AND THINKS IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END. And that thought is AMERICA FUCK YEAH!

sara d. reiss said...

no, Christian is right. Even I, who am squeamish at "made for regular tv violence" became be-numbed to 24's violence and find it a snooze. Thank god we have a new government because now not liking 24 doesn't mean I'm an unMERICAN terrorist

Kenney said...

My friend loved 24s 1st season. She went on and on about it, and when I watched I will admit I got sucked into the narrative. While never that great, the constant ending on cliff-hangers was enough to make me watch the next episode.

However, 24 is incredibly predictable. That's fine, but once you factor in becoming numb to the 24-ness (the plot twists, the double-crosses, the sacrifices) it becomes boring too.

If I want to watch a badass on TV I'll watch Burn Notice. Michael Weston might not be as hard as Jack Bauer, but at least the show is fun and doesn't take itself too serious. Because of that, it's a lot easier to swallow the improbable nature of Burn Notice's plots.

scott91777 said...


We love your hate because hate has never been more adorable!

P.S. Never got into 24 myself... as I've said previously, I don't like being pinned down to a drama (or any show) that I HAVE to watch EVERY week... and then the DVDs are just too much effort...

Kyle said...

I'd originally meant to marathon it, then saw some random episodes and was very bored. If you want frequent cliffhangers, watch Alias.